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I was so excited this past week when a found a set of serving dishes and platters with multiple-colored stripes at Goodwill. I LOVE stripes. I also loved the absolute miracle of rainbows and the incredible colors that God paints within those.

But as we know, the rainbow has become a sign of the Pride community. Of acceptance, of love no matter what that form takes and recently I learned, to help the Pride community feel safe in businesses, etc. that they visit and support.

I was surprised when one of my conservative Christian friends posted after I placed a picture of the dish set on my Facebook. They basically wanted to know where I fell on the issue. If I buy rainbow-colored dishes, am I accepting of the LGBTQ community?

Well yes, of course I am.

Jesus was, as well.

But is that why I bought the dishes and was so excited about them? No, I just loved the colors and stripes!

I was raised in a very conservative Christian home. I don’t believe that this was all my folk’s doing-I believe it was an era of our time in the Christian churches, especially in our Evangelical ones. I believe they did the best they did the best they could at the time, with what they were given.

We have LGBTQ folks in our family. One just announced she is marrying her beloved. One said this past summer that she is actively dating women. One has expressed a desire to change a gender and yet a fourth says that he is attracted to both men and women.

I work on groups and committees via my work environment with LGBTQ people and the experience has been eye-opening, and extremely helpful. They once coached me on the proper terms to use with a member in my family in the LGBTQ community (I tend to tongue trip over the “LGBTQ” term and was not sure what new gender term to use with a particular person so I wasn’t being hurtful to them). They were giving, and non-judgmental of my beliefs. We experienced a lot of laughter as I tried to get it right and they were understanding and kind.

Why, oh why, can we not be the same back? No wonder so many of the LGBTQ have been turned away from our Christian churches and communities! We have held them back with a very evident attitude of “Go away, you sinner” when in fact, we ALL have our struggles!

Being Christians has not made us immune-but it has challenged us a bit. After all, “gender dysphoria” has been diagnosed as a mental health condition in the DSM and we also know from studies that many in the LGBTQ community have experienced a great deal of trauma in their lives. But do we tell those with anxiety or other mental health challenges that they are not welcome in our lives, that we don’t love them, that we don’t pray for them? Jesus never did that.

Being a Christian has other challenges too. My husband works with churches in conflict or decision making and as you might expect, some churches and denominations have been struggling with the issue of whether to be “open and affirming” to the LGBTQ community. The issue here should never be “should we welcome them?” Of course we should! Did Jesus not welcome everyone? He ate dinner with those who were evil tax collectors and known prostitutes. He knew their hearts. He knew their trauma. He loved them anyway.

My husband has long brought up the issue of the lovely signs outside of our churches that say, “All are Welcome”. Well, really? ARE they? If Jesus was sitting in our congregation, he would have stood, gone out and pulled them inside with a gentle hug. Just like he would have done with ALL of us- who sin daily, who have mental health issue, who are starving for unconditional love and acceptance.

Those in our alternative communities have instead been turned completely away from churches, and families, from the true HEART of God’s word.

Being Christians in this situation also means that we are held even more responsible for our loving or unloving reactions to these situations. Whether we believe it is a sin or not, that is not the point. Since when did it become up to us to judge? Um, never?! I have sinned with the worst of them. I have fallen off points I never thought I would go. And never has it been anyone else’s jobs to convict me. IF there is need of conviction, that is up to the Holy Spirit only, no one else. (Trust me, it is much more effective for me coming from him, anyway. LOL)

Our job is ONLY to love and pray. For everyone. And their love language (how they feel loved) might be much different than yours, so I encourage you if it is a close friend or family member, to spend some time learning their love language and putting it into practice, even if that is a struggle for you.

So back to those dishes, I revel at the history of rainbows and stripes.

-We know why God made the rainbow initially. But don’t you think with that action that He wasn’t just saying “I won’t ever flood the earth again” but that he was saying “I love you SO much and accept each of you SO much that I will not flood the earth again to harm you?” His rainbow, with its beautiful colors, truly is an indication of how He feels about each one of us. And of course, therefore the Pride movement has chosen this as their welcome sign. Because God put all those colors in there and called us united within a frame of a rainbow.

-There is a reason we sang “Jesus loves the little children, all the children in the world. Red and yellow, black and white, we are precious in his sight” in the early years. We recognized various colors, and it is time to love those too with alternative lifestyles.

– I once heard a wise man say at his daughter’s (47 years old) deathbed, “when it comes down to it and the end of our lives, only two things matter: our relationship with God and our relationship with others.” SO wise and so true. My friends, don’t let it become too late. Life is not a guarantee. Prioritize having an active and loving your relationship with your loved ones (and THEIR loved ones), and let God work out the rest.

(no spoilers, I promise)

We were visiting my folks and Mom and I were excited about going to see “Top Gun: Maverick”, a fact we all found a bit amusing since as a teen, I was banned from seeing the first one. Since I worked at a video store (Cinema I Video in Port Orchard, WA), I managed to sneak in a view anyway. Apparently, Mom found the VHS tape under my mattress.

WHAAAT?

Well, apparently MY FOLKS saw the first one too. 🙂

We dragged Dad and Bill to see it with us (it was Father’s Day, after all). Well OK, they were willing but as mentioned above, found it a bit ironic.

Pre-movie found us in a conversation with the folk’s neighbor, L. He’s a chatty fellow and we enjoy checking in with him. He told us that they’d seen the movie, and that all the women/girls rated it a 10, but the men rated it only a 5 or 6. “Interesting.” I noted this, wondering if it was the Tom Cruise factor or another shirtless beach scene. I found that a bit hard to believe as Tom (like me) is in his 50’s, although several years older than I and to be honest, the shirtless scene in the first movie was never one that I was drawn to.

Only seeing it would tell.

I don’t know if you’ve seen it. I’m not going to spoil it for you, in case you haven’t, but the movie indeed was jaw-dropping, and not because of the beach, shirtless scene. And certainly not due to Cruise, who with makeup and lights in the movie looks about forty-ish at the most but shows his true self in a quick “thanks for coming and sorry it’s been so long” at the beginning of the movie.

Part of the magic was the incredible flying, of course. The flying and the maneuvers were much improved. I was happy to see a female Top Gun pilot in this class (although I was hoping she’d play more of a role in a victorious ending) and I could hugely relate to Mav’s frustration about aging, having the younger crowd look down on him (until they learned who he actually was) and fighting to have his wisdom validated by both those below and those above him. But then again, being OK with it if they didn’t. Or couldn’t. As we get older, we learn the importance of that too.

The story was well-written and the casting, excellent. Cruise’s drive for excellence really shined throughout. And part of the movie, of course, dealt with the past – and what to do with the repercussions of it.

What touched me most was the secret he kept (and never let go) and the reasons he felt he had to keep it. I don’t think I could have been the better “man” in this situation. I think I might have folded. I always have to work on this. People don’t always have to know who asked you to do something and why, or the behind-the-scenes take on why it’s best for them, or even what you feel their next step should be and why. This is especially true in parenthood and it is also true when we mentor others. Our true job on both occasions is to guide, not force. To walk alongside, not spout out all the experience we’ve had and how it works and may turn out for them.

Now granted, Mav in the classroom differed a bit, whether that was in the seats or in the planes. He built the plan that would take the mission to success and taught them. But when it came down to it, he once again was right beside them encouraging and mentoring during the practice sessions…and later for the real mission. He guided his class to success. And he never stood in front of them and said “Do you know who I am? Do you know what I’ve accomplished?”

True men (and women) never have to say it. It shows as they mentor others and guide them to success.

After the movie (which Mom rated a 12, btw), Bill and I took a walk and passed by L once again. I shared with him Mom’s score, and that I would give it a 8-9. Bill agreed that his was a little lower for him. L shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

I smiled. “I do. The movie was about healing. That’s what the true story was all about. THAT’S why we women are drawn to it.”

Ahhhh. OK. Both men nodded, and mused.

Healing is my calling. Guiding people to where they can live abundant lives. Mav couldn’t live his abundant life, and neither could some of the other characters, until the past was dealt with, forgiven and healed from.

That’s the true message within the movie.