Blog - Page 2 of 6 - Julie Bonn Blank, Christian Author, Afterlife Survivor & Speaker

Touring Zonta International Headquarters

Julie BB2024-09-09T15:40:06+00:00Social Causes|

My first introduction to Zonta was through Anna Weselak, and I was incredibly pleased to learn that they STAND up and MAKE a DIFFERENCE in women’s lives, all over the world. Although when the organization began in 1919, it’s was largely focused on “women’s rights”–when I toured the World headquarters, visited and listened this week, I heard from current members that they are very concerned about “Human Rights”, that is, the right of ALL humans, not just women. Although they take a special effort to recognize and support women’s issues, it seems that many Zonta members are in tune with the fact that many MEN and WOMEN are not receiving the basic human rights that we all should have.

In case like me, you are a novice, here is more from the website:

Mission
Zonta International is a leading global organization of professionals empowering women worldwide through service and advocacy.

Vision
Zonta International envisions a world in which women’s rights are recognized as human rights and every woman is able to achieve her full potential.

In such a world, women have access to all resources and are represented in decision making positions on an equal basis with men.

In such a world, no woman lives in fear of violence. (emphasis is mine).

More….

Zonta International’s story does not end here. Today, Zonta International is a global organization of nearly 30,000 members in 1,200 Zonta clubs in 66 countries. As we prepare to celebrate our 100th anniversary in 2019, we look back on some of the most significant milestones in our rich history of empowering women worldwide through service and advocacy.

History Timeline

1919 – Convention of Zonta Clubs founded in Buffalo, New York, USA. Mary Jenkins is elected first president.

1920 – Zonta colors and emblem are adopted and the first issue of The Zontian is published.

1923 – The first international project is funded to care for 115,000 orphan children and women in Smyrna, Turkey.

1927 – The first club outside the US is formed in Toronto, Canada.

1930 – “Zonta International” name is adopted as the first European club is established in Vienna, Austria.

1938 – The Amelia Earhart Fellowship is established in honor of the Zontian after her disappearance in 1937.

1948 – The first Z and Golden Z clubs are founded in Burbank, California, USA.

1963 – Zonta International is granted roster-level status by the United Nations Economic and Social Council.

1968 – Zonta International elects Helvi Sipilä as the first International President outside of the US. Contributions reach 1 million USD.

1970 – Zonta International elects Angie Brooks-Rudolph as its first International Honorary Member.

1975 – Zonta International President Eleanor Jammal and UN Committee Chairman Harriette Yeckel serve as Zonta’s official delegates to the UN International Women’s Year Conference in Mexico City, Mexico and Helvi Sipilä serves as secretary-general.

1983 – Zonta is granted consultative status with the Council of Europe

1984 – Zonta International Foundation is established

1986 – Zonta International becomes the first NGO to support UNIFEM (United Nations Development Fund for Women) and continues to support.

1987 – Zonta International dedicates their first world headquarters building in Chicago, Illinois, USA.

1990 – The Young Women in Public Affairs Award is established.

1998 – Zonta welcomes its 1,000th club, Lomo, Togo. Zonta International Strategies to End Violence Against Women project (ZISVAW) is adopted as an on-going program. The Jane M. Klausman Women In Business Scholarship is established.

2012 – Zonta Says NO to Violence Against Women annual campaign launches

2014 – “Empowering Women Through Service and Advocacy” slogan adopted

Last pictures of Amelia Earnhart, Zonta member

I am especially pleased to learn that each Zonta member gives service hours each year, and that each Chapter supports a couple of organizations. In Chicago, that is the Family Shelter Service and Poised for Success (at least for this year).

Although I have never considered myself a “feminist”, I do believe in equal rights for both women and men, and also teach a weekly group for women who are survivors or victims of domestic violence.

I have grave concerns that the administration of the USA taking over this month will waylay our progress to this end, and that women (in particular) will be “set back” in our efforts for much deserved equality and balance. I am pleased to know that an organization like Zonta exists, and that they will fight to keep all humans benefiting from the rights that they do indeed have.

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“Top Gun: Maverick” & Julie: What We Have in Common

Julie BB2024-09-09T15:21:28+00:00Just Me|

(no spoilers, I promise)

We were visiting my folks and Mom and I were excited about going to see “Top Gun: Maverick”, a fact we all found a bit amusing since as a teen, I was banned from seeing the first one. Since I worked at a video store (Cinema I Video in Port Orchard, WA), I managed to sneak in a view anyway. Apparently, Mom found the VHS tape under my mattress.

WHAAAT?

Well, apparently MY FOLKS saw the first one too. 🙂

We dragged Dad and Bill to see it with us (it was Father’s Day, after all). Well OK, they were willing but as mentioned above, found it a bit ironic.

Pre-movie found us in a conversation with the folk’s neighbor, L. He’s a chatty fellow and we enjoy checking in with him. He told us that they’d seen the movie, and that all the women/girls rated it a 10, but the men rated it only a 5 or 6. “Interesting.” I noted this, wondering if it was the Tom Cruise factor or another shirtless beach scene. I found that a bit hard to believe as Tom (like me) is in his 50’s, although several years older than I and to be honest, the shirtless scene in the first movie was never one that I was drawn to.

Only seeing it would tell.

I don’t know if you’ve seen it. I’m not going to spoil it for you, in case you haven’t, but the movie indeed was jaw-dropping, and not because of the beach, shirtless scene. And certainly not due to Cruise, who with makeup and lights in the movie looks about forty-ish at the most but shows his true self in a quick “thanks for coming and sorry it’s been so long” at the beginning of the movie.

Part of the magic was the incredible flying, of course. The flying and the maneuvers were much improved. I was happy to see a female Top Gun pilot in this class (although I was hoping she’d play more of a role in a victorious ending) and I could hugely relate to Mav’s frustration about aging, having the younger crowd look down on him (until they learned who he actually was) and fighting to have his wisdom validated by both those below and those above him. But then again, being OK with it if they didn’t. Or couldn’t. As we get older, we learn the importance of that too.

The story was well-written and the casting, excellent. Cruise’s drive for excellence really shined throughout. And part of the movie, of course, dealt with the past – and what to do with the repercussions of it.

What touched me most was the secret he kept (and never let go) and the reasons he felt he had to keep it. I don’t think I could have been the better “man” in this situation. I think I might have folded. I always have to work on this. People don’t always have to know who asked you to do something and why, or the behind-the-scenes take on why it’s best for them, or even what you feel their next step should be and why. This is especially true in parenthood and it is also true when we mentor others. Our true job on both occasions is to guide, not force. To walk alongside, not spout out all the experience we’ve had and how it works and may turn out for them.

Now granted, Mav in the classroom differed a bit, whether that was in the seats or in the planes. He built the plan that would take the mission to success and taught them. But when it came down to it, he once again was right beside them encouraging and mentoring during the practice sessions…and later for the real mission. He guided his class to success. And he never stood in front of them and said “Do you know who I am? Do you know what I’ve accomplished?”

True men (and women) never have to say it. It shows as they mentor others and guide them to success.

After the movie (which Mom rated a 12, btw), Bill and I took a walk and passed by L once again. I shared with him Mom’s score, and that I would give it a 8-9. Bill agreed that his was a little lower for him. L shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

I smiled. “I do. The movie was about healing. That’s what the true story was all about. THAT’S why we women are drawn to it.”

Ahhhh. OK. Both men nodded, and mused.

Healing is my calling. Guiding people to where they can live abundant lives. Mav couldn’t live his abundant life, and neither could some of the other characters, until the past was dealt with, forgiven and healed from.

That’s the true message within the movie.

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“Innocent Lives” Receives International Book Award

Julie BB2024-09-09T15:15:48+00:00Media|

Life is busy! I am a part of an upcoming expert speaker panel on human trafficking for Hope PYX (and also won an international book award with them for “Innocent Lives“- awww). The conference is now virtual on October 21st and there is still time to register if you are interested! Check it out here.

I continue to guest on podcasts, as well as interview others.

Recently, I connected with Veronica York, a high-conflict divorce coach (mostly domestic violence) who is co-writing a book with Barry Goldstein, is an expert witness in DV cases and has been crucial in pushing forward two very important laws: The Safe Child Act and Kayden’s Law.

In my day job at ARMS/Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, we have seen way too many children returned to the custody of the abusive parent and over the past several years, 890 children have been killed by that parent after their return. This is atrocious! These laws would allow expert Domestic Violence testimony for the first time and recognize that mental health professionals do not necessarily have the training needed to be DV experts. They would potentially DECREASE the amount of children returned to their abusive parent and also require judge’s training in domestic abuse. One law would also outlaw “reunification camps”, when a child is forced to go to a camp with the offender and “work their issues out” with counselors, groups, activities, etc.

Recently here in Washington County, our Survivor Voices Committee became intensely aware of the lack of judge’s training. We wrote a letter to a committee of judges and attorneys explaining how a survivor acts on the Stand. A survivor, often suffering from PTSD, can be highly agitated, appear “crazy”, have inappropriate emotions at inappropriate times and be highly adversely affected and terrified by having to face their abuser in court, making all of this worse. It is essential that our judges, attorneys and court advocates become more trauma-informed.

Our children’s lives could depend on it!

Now in saying this, Victoria and I both realize that most judges and attorney’s want to do the right thing. “They don’t know what to think,” she shared. “They hear so many sides of the story and aren’t sure what to truly believe. But the ones we meet DO have a good heart and really do want to do the right thing.”

Proverbs 18: 17-24, anyone? 🙂

We were fortunate that our local committee seemed very open to learning more and I can only continue to hope and pray for the same results in other counties. Both these laws would be a large step forward towards where we need to go.

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Deep Roots

Julie BB2024-09-09T14:59:39+00:00Devotionals, Just Me|

My husband connects quietly with our granddaughter. Almost two, she is busy, busy, busy when she visits. To get time with her, he meets her wherever she’s at. Usually, that’s on the floor. They don’t talk so much as he lets her take the lead and she is just starting to really express herself verbally. But I see smiles exchanged, a helping hand if she stumbles, lots of seeking eye contact to make sure he’s still there and his help with whatever activity she chooses. Mostly he just waits, and remains next to her. It’s a peaceful place, with a consistent bond. But I suspect this connection will yield deep roots. It surprised me when another family member expressed sadness and frustration that our granddaughter “never goes to them”. She has a busy life to lead, from what I see. If we wait for her, we may be waiting years! And if you haven’t already guessed it, she reminds me a bit of me. My husband’s connection with her emulates my Heavenly Father’s connection with me as an “active waiter”. He’s not off to the sidelines or waiting for me in the next room. He’s next to me with a hand as I crawl up and down stairs, follows me as I dart from one room/activity to another, rejoices with me as I find another doo-dad to add to my basket and reaches out when I stumble. He waits for me to remember this bad habit in my life that has become a vice. He waits for me to start treating this “temple”/body better. He waits for me to discover the wondrous step He has planned next for me. So I naturally turn His way when it’s time for us to be quietly together and connect one on one. For hours, He will sit with me. And we will be.

Deep roots. It’s what it’s all about.

Moses therefore said to them, “Wait, and I will listen to what the Lord will command concerning you.”

Numbers 9:8

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Becoming Real & What I’ve Learned

Julie BB2024-09-09T14:54:30+00:00Writing|

I was honored to recently accept the President position with Cascade Christian Writers (formerly Oregon Christian Writers) and we just finished an amazing Summer Conference at the Canby Grove Christian Center. We also held the award ceremony for the Cascade Christian Writers Contest. “We welcomed 170 contestants who submitted 251 entries to the 2023 Cascade Writing Contest this year. Contestants represented 35 states, Switzerland, Jamaica, Australia, and two Canadian provinces.” (1) Congratulations to all the finalists and winners!

Whoa. (Yes, just in case you thought OCW was just for Oregon peeps.)

I’m so very thankful to my amazing team. This conference and the awards would not have happened without them. To my very cool Board members (most prefer to be unnamed), I am so grateful for you and your year-round work. I would also like to send a curtsy to Summer Conference Director Christina Suzann Nelson, Sue Miholer, Amy Earls, Linda Kruschke, Donna Hues, Keynoter Amanda Dykes, numerous faculty members (30 workshops that you can order to watch if you want, along with the Keynote sessions and the agent/editor panel) and to the amazing mass of volunteers who worked very hard on putting on the best Summer Conference Ever! You are incredible! I thank you and am humbled to be at your side, serving.

I thought you might enjoy the devotional I wrote and read at the conference opening and also some conference pictures of the amazing time that we had. Of course, if you were at the conference, you’ve already heard this. But if not, I hope that you enjoy it.

My first writer’s conference was in Wheaton, Illinois at “Write to Publish”. I paid the fees and almost asked for my money back. Even sitting in the car getting ready to go into the building, I wanted to drive away. I forced myself outside, up the stairs, and into the lobby where I felt like a stranger but smiled, got my nametag and browsed the bookstore. All around me were people greeting and hugging each other. It seemed everyone knew someone – except me.

Worship was great and my first class, awesome. My anxiety was at an all-time high going into an agent appointment. But God took care of me in the most amazing way. He gave me a very kind agent and I about floated out of the auditorium afterwards. Finally, I received some confirmation that I was where God wanted me to be!

I not only received several confirmations that week at the conference, but I also soon recognized the truth. God had brought me to my true tribe. These were people who totally “got me”. Such a blessing when so many family and friends couldn’t quite understand why I was always spouting concepts, book ideas, passions I wanted to get out to the world and other odd tidbits. And that doesn’t even count the times when I’m writing and respond with a “huh?” and look up, truly confused, because I’m so buried in another world. Yes, my family has had to repeat questions many times, as well as occasional requests for dinner. (oops) Even last week, the dryer buzzer went off twice while I was writing. “There’s no way that was 50 minutes! That was like, ten!” But no, it was 50 minutes both times.

Here are some things I’ve learned in my writing journey.

1. I learned that unless I am using the gifts that He generously gave to me, I am not fully worshipping Him. Romans 12:6 says “Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to use them accordingly.” There have been times in my life when I haven’t been able to fully use my gifts and times in my life when, due to trauma, I was unable to use my gifts effectively. When I chose to make changes in my life and heal from my trauma, God asked me to return to writing as part of my healing. “This is who I created you to be.” He whispered to me. “Beloved, you are mine.”

It is a part of our calling to do as He asks us, with what He has bestowed on us. As I use my gifts, the fullness of God becomes rich to me, I am the closest to Him, I am outward-focused on others instead of inward-focused on just myself (anxiety) and I also can make (with his help) a little impact for the Kingdom.

All part of His plan.

2. Secondly, I learned that sometimes the seeds we plant take a lot of time to harvest. I can get discouraged sometimes in God’s waiting room. When will my writing make a difference? An impact? And how can it when it seems like no publisher even wants it? In Mark 4 we learn the Parable of the Seed that is thrown in varied places on the ground. A seed either flourishes, gets choked out from weeds/thorns or dies from lack of nourishment. Sometimes, we don’t see the results of planting our seeds, but results ALWAYS happen when we plant according to the Lord’s desire – even years or generations later. I’ve now been privileged to learn that my efforts HAVE helped others, often weeks, months or years later. You will receive this too.

As we know, without seed planters there are no plants, no gardens, no jungles…and no reason for bees. Without seed planters there is no food to nourish us and no trees to clean the air. Did you know that according to the Arbor Day Foundation, in one year a mature tree will absorb more than 48 pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and release oxygen in exchange? Yes, that is how important seeds are, not to mention the spiritual seeds we plant as we exercise our gifts. Go forth and plant seeds.

3. Thirdly, I learned that my writing will not make an impact unless I “became real” as we learn in “The Velveteen Rabbit”. To remind you of the passage (because I’m quite sure you’ve all read it at least once), I will include it here. (2)

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

And then later…

The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

God is in Control

God uses our situations, traumas, pain, suffering and hurts in our lives to better other people – if we accept His assignment. It is the ultimate message to Satan that God is in control. And it is the biggest blessing in our lives when we use our experiences to assist others. It is part of becoming “Real”.

I want to leave you with a piece of scripture-perhaps one of several you might ponder this week.

Psalm 139: 1-18 (David) 1 You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

(1) Quote by Jennifer Anne Messing

(2) “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams, Public Domain

Photos by Karen Barnett, Julie McDonald Zander and Yours Truly

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Sound of Slavery (thoughts from Sound of Freedom movie)

Julie BB2024-09-09T02:01:40+00:00Abuse, Social Causes|

How can I not see a movie when it is both said to be “well done” and a subject I write about? A movie LONG overdue in being shown to the public? I battled with this. My hesitations had to do with the same reason I’ve hesitated to watch “The Chosen”. (Which is why I struggle with the fact that many Christian organizations are using it as small group curriculum.) By doing so, am I supporting Angel Studios and therefore funneling money to the LDS community and their very-focused, recent concentration on becoming mainstream and attractive to the general public? And if so, how is that being responsible as a Christ-follower?

Not that my two tickets (and the purchasing of a “God’s Children Are Not For Sale” t-shirt – YUP, you know I HAD to get one of those) will make a drop of difference in their financial pot. It’s the concept of it, of course. And knowing where my responsibility lies – and where it ends.

I expect there will be push-back on this post. And as I have said to many, I have several LDS friends from school and I have nothing against them. They are good people. I even suspect that some are indeed followers of Jesus and I will see them in heaven someday. But the theological differences are still there, as they always have been, the most integral one being that the Bible says it is the one and only Word of God (Revelation 22:18-19), written by man but inspired by God (2 Peter 1:21). Whereas, the LDS church believes that The Book of Mormon is also scripture from God (see #8 here). And the second being that LDS believes the Father and Jesus Christ are separate entities – Christians believe in what we call the Trinity. More on that here. Of course, there are other beliefs they have that I do not have, and do not find biblical (being a spirit before birth, levels of heaven, eternal marriage and more).

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the Mormon church has been trying very hard the past few years to become “mainstream” – appearing to accept all, a wonderful place to raise a family, excelling in wisdom and maturity, having access to things of God that no one else has, etc. The master of lies. And as Christians, in our desire for quality programming that speaks “Jesus”, we’ve rushed to not only support them, but to join the efforts of spreading the word. This is extra complicated as the writer and director of the Chosen series is none other than Christian Dallas Jenkins, son of author Jerry Jenkins. We are indeed, confused, but have no doubt of the LDS goal – to recruit more. So for me it comes down to that, can I support Angel Studios by bringing the “Chosen” into my home? No.

Would my brother Rick, who worked in the Christian film industry, was the most detailed (and blunt) critic I know (next to Barbara Nicolosi), who craved and worked towards excellence in Christian films and was a staunch and firm lover of Jesus have watched “Sound of Freedom”?

I suspect he would have. And I finally did as well. You know, the older I get, the more I realize there is more that unites us as human and less that divides us – at least that is what I want to see. As many of you also know, I have family members in the LGBTIQA+ community. Do I believe that they won’t see Jesus someday? No, because very simply, it is not my place to judge. That job is for God and God alone. The assignments He gave ME are to 1) Love God and 2) Love my neighbor as myself. I do and I do.

I especially love this verse:

Romans 14:1-4

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Well doesn’t that about say it all? I’m thinking so.

I believe that God does not want us to appear “preachy” to those who do not believe as we do. Here’s an example: I was raised to avidly “call people out” (errr, “show them the error of their ways”). In other words: MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THE TRUTH SO THEY DON’T GO TO HELL. I might, after all, be the only Jesus they ever see!!! Well guess what folks, if we are preaching, pushing and condemning others and that is indeed the only Jesus they ever see, we ARE in trouble! No wonder Christians get a bad rap. The Lord flat out tells us multiple times in the Bible that He is the only judge. The only ruler. The only King of the entire WORLD.

Who am I to stand on a platform and say “shame on you” (and particularly when I am also a sinful human)? It is none of my beeswax as we said in the old days. (Sorry to the LDS friends with whom I held great debates with in junior high and high school).

If I choose to stand on a platform and choose to say “shame on you”, then I am also choosing slavery. And not only that, but I am placing others that I am judging into slavery as well.

So back to “Sound of Freedom” (sorry for the distraction. I actually got distracted twice and decided the second one was another full post so took it out) …yes, it was very well done. It is the quality (mostly) that I hoped for and it does (finally) have enough backing to bring attention to the very subject that has eaten away at my heart for years. I disagree with the people posting “going to see a movie doesn’t change things” because at the start of it all is education. We cannot make changes until we educate. Which of course, is the purpose behind “Innocent Lives“. I absolutely agree with and appreciate the sad stats at the end because they are important!

-More people are enslaved now than when slavery was legal.

-The UNITED STATES is the top consumer of sex slavery.

Those facts, my friends, are the sad, sad truth. This is WHY I felt so called to write “Innocent Lives” and “Innocent Voices”. I was once one of those who thought human trafficking only happened overseas. Thank goodness that people in Hollywood fought the masses to call attention to human trafficking, kidnapping and sex slavery. I am praying that a multitude of people will now understand, and seek change.

At the end of the movie, Jim Caviezel shares with us from real life. “Steve Jobs once said the most powerful person in the world is the storyteller,” He said. “Abraham Lincoln credited Harriet Stowe when she wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin – this powerful story inspired millions to rise up and fight against slavery. I think we can make Sound of Freedom the Uncle Tom’s Cabin of 21st century slavery.”

Let’s do it!

#soundoffreedom #soundoffreedommovie #innocentlives #humantraffickingawareness

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Abuse Resources

Julie BB2024-09-23T17:04:03+00:00Abuse|

Many of these resources come from ARMS, an organization I highly recommend. Their free HER JOURNEY classes were essential to my healing, even when I was still in an abusive relationship. But there are some additional resources from other places, as well.

I want to note here that the abuse is a PATTERN of power and control used to manipulate another person. I say this because as you review the following you may wonder, “am I an abuser? Sometimes I do some of those things on the Types of Abuse chart!” We all DO use controlling behaviors at times and if God is talking to you about working on that, please do. But unless you are using those controlling behaviors consistently, in order to control another person or the outcome of a situation, you are not likely an abuser.

FOR LEADERS, PASTORS, COUNSELORS

Abuse Information Packet for Leaders and Pastors

Why We Never Recommend Couple’s Counseling in Cases of Abuse

Article: The Church’s Response to Abuse

Book: On The Frontlines of Abuse: Strategies for the Faith Community by Stacey Womack

Book: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis by Mary DeMuth

Book: A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church by Jeff Crippen and Anna Wood

Book: Setting the Captives Free: A Christian Theology for Domestic Violence by Ron Clark

FOR THOSE WONDERING IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Abusive Behaviors Checklist

15 Early Warning Signs of Abuse (helpful for teens who are dating, but also for adults!)

Cycle of Abuse

Types of Abuse (you might be surprised!)

FOR THOSE WHO KNOW OR SUSPECT THEY ARE IN ABUSE

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst

Book: Why Does He DO That? By Lundy Bancroft

Book: The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It by Leslie Vernick

Book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans

Highly recommend the following programs for women, even if you are not and especially if you are not leaving your abusive situation:

ARMS, Free Her Journey Classes

Flying Free with Natalie Hoffman

The Conquer Program with Leslie Vernick

NOTE: Celebrate Recovery and Mending the Soul both have sections in their program intended for abuse survivors but I have not personnally taken those programs.

If you are a man seeking to heal from abuse, I highly recommend the following counselor who also offers virtual services. Also, consider contacting your local domestic abuse resource for resources for men or those who identify using a fluid gender.

Bonnie Ronstrom, Willow Life Coaching (specializes in narcissistic abuse; offers virtual services), Email

FOR THOSE WANTING TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE

Article: How to Help a Survivor

Book: Helping Her Get Free, by Susan Brewster

Note: The links for the books above are an affiliate links through Amazon.

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How to Respond When Wronged

Julie BB2024-09-09T16:19:01+00:00Devotionals|

This morning I was re-reading the complete story of Joseph. Although we often hear of his plight (thrown into a pit and sold into slavery by his brothers, jail time for something he never even did), we seldom hear the other details of the story. Yes, God did use Joseph’s plight for good. He used the atrocious actions of his brothers to save them, and save a nation when famine would have killed them all.

But Joseph was human, of course. And through his story, I was reminded of how to respond when I am wronged.

Anger + Stubbornness- When Joseph’s brothers first approached him for food, he tossed them into a holding cell for three days. He later set it up to look like Benjamin stole silver. This waylays the brothers on their second journey home as they are falsely accused and then promptly returned to the city.

Anger is a natural emotion that God has given us and it often has positive results when used appropriately. Although God tells us to not sin in our anger, He feels it himself and fully expects it of us. It is a step when processing through many things-including grief, wrongdoing and pain. It is OK to feel anger when we are wronged. It is OK to cry out to God and lament the pain of being falsely accused, looked down upon or stepped on. He understood Joseph and He understands you and me.

Grief + Joy- Three times during this story, Joseph either turns away from his brothers or leaves the room to go elsewhere. He weeps after he sees his brothers for the first time in years and when he finally sees Benjamin, his full-blooded and younger brother. He weeps again when he tells his brothers who he really is. In Genesis 45:2, he weeps so loudly that the Egyptians hear him and Pharaoh’s entire household learns of it.

I don’t believe that Joseph was any more emotional than the rest of us. But I have had a similar experience when, after years of turmoil, it was acknowledged by family members that they had been misled, and in fact now understood I had a certain family member’s best interest at heart. I cried too.

Forgiveness + Graciousness- Joseph was gracious to his brothers in spite of their sin against him. He sent them home not only with extra provisions but he returned their money to them as well. Later, after he had revealed himself, he provided goods in excess for his family and then moved them to the area where they lived a prosperous life.

Have I been gracious to those who have wronged me and falsely accused me? I need to do better with this one. In the story, Joseph’s graciousness to his brothers has a direct result on their conscience. God used Joseph’s graciousness in bringing his brothers to repentance. Is it possible that when we “go the extra mile”, “take the high road” and treat others better than they have treated us that God will reward that in some fashion? I believe so. He shows us this in the story of Joseph.

Faithfulness + Loyalty- Joseph wasn’t perfect by any means. But it is clear throughout his lifetime that he remained close to God during the multiple, discouraging trials that haunted him. Although he definitely responded as a human might to these situations initially, he always came back around to trusting and yielding to God. As he did this, it allowed God to turn these situations to good for those involved and future generations.

When I remain irritated and unforgiving, God cannot work in my life to turn the trials to good. My stubbornness waylays His goodness, just like Joseph planting the silver waylaid his brother’s journey. Like a patient Father, God waits for me to come around. And when I do, He rewards that with an emotional release from those who irk me, a knowledge that I am right with God and His precepts and the ultimate peace in my heart. And that opens the door for Him to speak to others about it too.

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Does My Sin Affect My Prayers for Others?

Julie BB2024-09-09T16:26:56+00:00Devotionals|

Proverbs 15:29 The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.

It’s not always easy to write insights from the Lord. And for me, nasty pride can certainly get in the way. Often I learn my lessons through failure and writing about them to others…so then I have to admit to them. 🙂

I suspect you understand exactly what I mean.

God’s given me hints throughout life that he hears my prayers and blesses me more when I am following fully what He wants of me. This makes perfect sense. But what I didn’t realize until a few weeks ago is that my prayers for others might also be affected when I am not fully being obedient.

Recently, I finally gave in on something that God had asked me to do. I mean, not only did He ask, He sent hint after hint after hint that this is what He wanted to do. Ongoing. For several months. And I fought it with all that I have. Have you guessed that I am stubborn? Sigh. I should have known that I wouldn’t have full peace until I was obedient.

It did not completely surprise me that God started answering more of my prayers for myself when I finally gave in.

What surprised me is that He started answering my prayers for other people. For instance, I was helping a gal who was in a custody suit for her child after a very abusive marriage. Her former husband was being manipulative and abusive and the courts believed him. Between him and his attorney, they had not only convinced the courts that she was crazy, but they had taken her child away a year ago. She’d been unable to see or talk to her child since. In spite of me helping her try to get representation and praying fervently with her week after week after week, everything continued to go downhill. Until last week. One of our prayers was finally answered-just as she was ready to give up. She now has hope.

At a weekly class that I hold, three other women came forward and said that God had answered our prayers from the week before. And that was just the beginning. There became so many “answers to my prayers” that every time I turned around, there was a new one. And in addition, an area of my life that had not shown progress for years suddenly made a turn for the better within days.

Deuteronomy 28:1-2 says “Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the Lord your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the Lord your God:…” I will let you read the rest of the verse as there are some interesting things that meant a lot in that day (blessings of crops, etc) but would likely be a bit different these days.

Now are these answers to prayer due to ME? Absolutely not. Nothing to do with me. Only the mighty power of our Lord God who wanted to show me that He truly does bless those who fully obey Him.

I struggle with some guilt now, of course. Would more of my prayers for others have been answered if I had been obedient earlier? Several times in His word, God specifically mentions blessings for future descendants due to acts of obedience. Have I been the block in some of my descendants fully accepting the love of God for them? 🙁

I experienced the other side a few days ago. I had been having pain in an area and a specific ultrasound showed nothing. A new ultrasound with different parameters was ordered for next week. But on Saturday after I had prayed for the ladies in my morning Zoom group, one of them requested to pray for me. I felt comfortable so shared some of what has been going on. She prayed for me and can you guess what happened next? My pain disappeared. It’s been gone now for two days.

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
Psalm 145:18

Thank you, Lord.

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Just…Read the Instructions, Julie

Julie BB2024-09-09T16:31:02+00:00Devotionals|

Having planted sugar snap peas for many, many years, I am an expert. Or so I thought.

Why read the instructions? I don’t need them. I’ve planted them each year, sometimes twice a year, for over 30 years! I plant them a couple of inches apart and each year carefully take the time to construct a support system for each row usually consisting of garden poles and string. I pound the posts into the ground with a hammer to ensure steadiness, as peas need a ton of support. I’ve worked with thick string and thin string. For two years now, I’ve been trying to get rid of my roll of thin string so have doubled it for strength purposes. I can’t wait to buy thick string.

What on earth got into me when this year, I read the BACK of the package?! I have no idea. Or maybe my husband read it and relayed it to me. Possible.

What did it say? “Plant two rows about six inches apart and construct ONE supporting structure between the two for both rows to use.” (Or something of the like)

HUH?

I’ve found myself doing this in my spiritual walk, as well. Having been a believer since the age of 4, have I not “read it all”, “done it all”, “practiced it all”? There is nothing in the Word that I haven’t read!

Some say that BIBLE should stand for “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth”. It is our guide and manual. God’s Word was not just applicable a few thousand years ago. He made it to last and it is as befitting to our issues today as it always was. There is not one problem we face that is not addressed in His book. In addition, there is power within the words in the Bible. Speaking the name of Jesus aloud chases Satan out. Memorizing scripture means that when we need it the most, certain verses will echo in our heads. The voice of our Lord.

I don’t know about you, but I am certainly reading the scriptures more during this time of world chaos-a habit I will strive to keep up even after the world seems safer.

“How can a young man/woman keep their way pure? By guarding it according to your word. . . . I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:9, 11

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Timothy 3:16-17

Question I’m Pondering This Week: Is there written scripture in heaven?

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Romans 14:1-4

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